The Past Week

On the last day in the hostel Jasmine and I were fighting over a bar of Temptation Roast Almond like two four year old kids (I doubt even they do these kind of things now) and fall apart laughing and we also promised to repeat it when we are on webcam! LOWL!
Sigh I hardly realised that I'd be home so soon. Missing you guys. <3

The last week has been a long long torture. First came the day with the 6 honours where the whole department almost died. Then there was a continuous hitting of Macbeth, Puck, Demetrius, Hermia, Dacry, Elizabeth, Banquo, Jack, Lydia and also a stream of modern realities going on. My life is currently on a path of self discovery and spiritualism. LOL. Okay! That was a PJ! :D

Long back, I had written a little article on indignation, detestation, contempt and other not so "strong" emotional words. I believe hatred, anger and love are quite "strong" words to be used in a daily basis. "I hate her", "I love you" etc would hardly hold any deeper meaning if you start quoting these everyday. Lately, I am in a fix. As in a psychological one. I don't want to hate anyone. I actually don't hate people. Its unhealthy and also a waste of energy. Yeah, don't roll your eyes. I mean it. Recently though some people in my life are acting such that my resolve may just dissolve. *shake of head*

What I don't get is WHY do people have to be so complicated? Making up stories to hide their own flaws and as a result hurting others. Or simply making up stories to hurt other people. You don't along with me, well and good. But stop trying to influence others. GOD! Some people are SO jobless and then we exclaim how we never seem to have enough time.

Back home, its a riot right now. Durga Puja's here and my mom insists that we all get up early morning as a mark of "respect" *roll eyes* My mom doesn't get the concept of atheism. She thinks I need a psychiatrist because I don't believe that the photos of the deities in our "puja" room can actually see and hear us and apparently also grant us wishes! Heh.

When Holidays Arrive...

I've always had a close friendship with holidays. Even though we did not meet for days, I loved when we did and have always enjoyed the company of my lovely lovely holidays. Needless to say my holidays and I have always shared a close and healthy relationship. Until now. Now, now, don't panic. I am still very much normal and I still love my holidays but like everything else, too much of something is a pain!

You might argue that chocolates and holidays are exceptions but I beg to differ. Even too much of chocolate is not pleasurable anymore as I found out lately and have taken a break from all things sweet. (Though my friends and I sincerely doubt the time period of this very very recent development. Read = 12 hours.) Ever since I joined college, my holidays have begun to love me a little too much. So much so that during every vacation (holidays have a nick name too! AW!) I've had since last year, (TWO) my parents have resorted to giving me strange dark looks after a mere three weeks of having me in the house. You see, my vacations, unlike normal vacations, are a tad longer. A 45 days Puja & Diwali vacation or a 3 months long summer vacation, my college is EXTREMELY generous in giving holidays.

I sometimes wish this generosity could have been put to the awarding of marks but then somethings better not even be dreamt about. >.<" Anyways, back to my vacations. So, only this April I went home despite all misgivings, carrying ALL my course books and successfully letting them collect dust till JULY, when after 3 whole months, I finally returned. Now, my holidays wouldn't have been much painful only if I had things to do you see. Even becoming a couch potato is boring after sometime. 

Writing this post with a heavy heart as yet again, my vacations begin this Sunday going on until 10th of November. I so wish my college mates lived nearer. Or atleast that my friends back home had as long vacations as mine. Sigh. One can never have everything. Even though I am happy that I am going to be home next week, eating decent food, sleeping on  MY own bed where I don't dangle from the side and using a decent bathroom; I wish my holidays wouldn't be so long.

And as a footnote, Harshita Borah, I would have happily lent you my holidays girl. Only if I could. Sigh. Only if.

The line....!

Often, I wonder if there is an invisible line that forbids us from wrong doing...most of us have grown up hearing the famous phrase "do not cross your limit" from our parents and I guess have wondered the same, WHAT is the limit?

Somehow my line seems a little blurred nowadays....like the distinction between scarlet and red (I am blissfully unaware of it) my sense of right and wrong gets blurred...somehow what I thought was wrong yesterday seems more and more right nowadays and the things I hoped are right seem so much like a clumsy blunder I might have made in my sleep....probably like the phone call we get in the middle of the night and we mumble a few incomprehensible words and then conveniently forgetting it the next day.

Perhaps, I am in a state of slumber .....perhaps I have always been...but it is painful to wake up. Who is the culprit? Time? Age? Emotions? Sometimes, life seems extremely stupid. The things we pay most attention to, extremely trivial. The fights we have, extremely silly. The things we buy, extremely worthless. Often, we are so swayed by our own emotions, we hardly realize the gravity of our decision. Hence takes birth REGRET...

Its strange how the things we build up for expulsion somehow always remains within. Like a mad old collector, we hungrily and almost jealously guard our sentiments. Not for selfish gain....but almost always in fear....fear of being exposed. By now, I am seriously at a loss as to where this post is going but as I said, almost everything seems to be blurred to me.

Its been a month I came home. A month my books are lying abandoned, collecting dust. A month I've been thinking.....what am I doing? what am I going to do? A month of having the novelty of a TV in my bedroom. A month. Surprising how much time I can waste by simply doing NOTHING. Nothing worth mentioning, that is.......so, my holiday mission is to somehow achieve the size of a baby...err...teen elephant.....(evident from my diet...or rather the lack of it). And guess what? I might just get that PhD degree in HARRY POTTER....I've been reading the whole series for the 150th time....this time along with fan fiction...Erm, my teacher at college told me not to use 'short paragraphs' in my answers....ruins the drama she said. Hope she doesn't mark THIS blog post! I'll be getting a zero surely. LOL.

Holidays were never nice. Its not healthy to sit idle....for me! Ridiculously weird thoughts keep haunting my brain and I keep haunting my friends asking them the weirdest questions of their life....also, holidays have always proved to be the 'self-assessment' period for me....where I keep on replaying my memories and wondering how and when and what and why they could have been different!

Ananya was right. Only the first holiday away from hostel seems fun. This one is simply dragging. I miss the hostel. Even though the food, the bathrooms, the rooms SUCK! I mean, is it ever the place? I think its the people who matter! For e.g. I'd rather die than miss my biology classes at school but I do miss my benchmates!

I think I should sign off...before I start bawling over the keyboard! Ciao!

P.S. Comments and criticism welcome! :P